Fan Submission #1

Tears, tequila, thc, and the truth

There it was. Attacking Rainy's senses simultaneously making her ache. The sound of the lighter being flicked and the smell. The smell that she had never thought she could learn to tolerate let alone crave. But she had learned to control that crave. To indulge when she chose and not let it control her. Then of course on a day like today, those smells and sounds just had to come with sounds of liquid poured into shot glasses and the burning smell of hard liquor. Now that on the other hand was like the universe was a flame and her a wax statue slowly being melted down.
"One isn't going to kill you." One of the guys called to her from around the bong on the coffee table. It was the usual crowd of stoners she had become familiar with.
"He's asleep Rainy, live alittle. You look like you could use it." The blonde girl everyone called Flower said genuinely as she handed a filled shot glass over. Looking down at the liquid in her hand she began to shake as memories of many nights with a bottle to her lips flooded her mind. Suddenly he was there beside her gently easing the glass from her hand and kissing away a tear that had escaped her eye.
"Take a hit love." Her husband Leiland whispered against her cheek.  She nodded and went to the table to take the lighter to the small pipe laying next to the bong. She sighed in both resignation and relief as the head change took it's full affect. Yet just as quickly as the high came on, a single cry chased it away. The guilt she felt every time she gave in to the weakness hit her full force when she opened the door at the end of the hall and saw him. Her son stood in his crib face red and tear streaked. He watched her come closer until his outstretched arms met hers. Picking him up she held him close and his wails turned to whimpers. Rainy couldn't contain the tears that suddenly streamed down her own face when his little hand clutched her shirt. The truth was she had failed him yet again. Failed as his mother. She was suppose to be stronger than the sounds and smells. Stronger than the temptation. The truth was she was an addict and as she sat and rocked her baby back to sleep she pleaded with him to forgive her.

By Danielle Steele