All the
boxes were packed up, boxes and boxes all stacked up in the corner of the room.
I stood there and just stared at them. I wiped the warm tear that fell down my
cheek. I just couldn’t believe she was gone. Here in her room was all her
stuff, but she was gone. I took a deep breath as the thought that had plagued
me played over and over in my head. She was gone and I was still here.
“Liz, are you okay?” Benny came up behind me, laying his hand on my shoulder. I already felt more comfortable just by having him there.
“Yeah it’s just..tough you know?” I said, wiping another tear that had escaped. Benny came around to face me. He smiled at me, just wide enough to make me smile back.
“Trust me, I know. I’ve been there.” He said. I laughed some before sitting on the hard wood floor. He joined me by sitting down in front of me.
“You know it’s gonna be okay right? It’s gonna get better.” He said. I looked down at my hands sighing.
“I don’t think it really does Benny.” I said.
Benny looked around the room before he spoke. “You know I don’t know much about this whole life and death thing. But you know what I do know? You are strong Elizabeth, and I know you will see Aubrey again. It might not be today, or tomorrow, but I promise you that you will see her again. I’m not gonna say she’s in a better place, because I don’t know exactly where a better place is. But she loved you so much.” He said. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. The tears came rolling now, my whole body shaking as I began to sob. Benny reached his hand out, almost touching mine.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. “Benny, I just don’t understand.” I spoke through my tears, my voice almost cracking. “My big sister is gone, what am I going to do without her?” I said breathing deep. “I have to lose her. Just like I had to lose you!!” I sobbed. Benny looked down now. “Yet here you are, but where is she Benny? Why can I only see you?!” I asked.
Benny was my best friend and more than that. He wasn’t just my boyfriend, he was my soulmate. Two years ago he passed away in the hurricane that hit our small town. Three days after it happened, long after I had heard the news I found him in my bedroom. He was there, alive and well and standing in my bedroom. I thought I was just seeing things, that it was some kind of joke. Turns out it was a joke, because Benny wasn’t really alive, only his soul was. He drifted in and out, showing up when he could. It was hard every time he came and we still couldn’t figure it out. Two years later and I still can’t believe he exists, when I didn’t even believe in ghosts in the first place.
Then there was Aubrey. My wonderful amazing older sister who had helped me get through everything. She got on the back of that damn motorcycle. With that stupid guy I told her was just a phase, a phase she needed to get rid of. I tried talking with her, tried telling her that he meant no good and that he was no good. But she didn’t believe me. She had rose colored glasses and all they could see was him. I remember a time when I was like that with Benny.
We got into a fight that night and she stormed out of the house. I remember telling her that I loved her, but I couldn’t stand seeing her with him anymore. I was going to cut her out of my life that night, and then I got the call. She passed away that next morning.
Benny drifted in and out and I wished so bad that he could’ve held me in his arms. Sometimes I swear I can feel him, but most times it just feels like cold wind brushing against your skin.
I waited and waited, thinking that maybe if I could see Benny that Aubrey would come too. But five days had passed and she still hadn’t shown up. I asked Benny, but he was as clueless as I was. Benny couldn’t really keep a memory; this afterlife wasn’t something you just figured out right away. It was something that we couldn’t understand or comprehend.
“Liz, I told you..this life..if you can call it that. You wouldn’t want to wish that on her. I promise you that.” He said. I looked up at him and wished so badly that I could kiss him, to comfort him.
“I’m so sorry Ben. I’m so glad that I can see you, but I just wish you could move on. I want you to be happy. I’m so sorry!” I started crying more. My whole life felt like one big mess. “Why can’t you go?” I asked. Benny stood up and I could see that his image was starting to become fuzzier. “I’m fading again.” He said simply. I stood up stepped closer to him. I could almost see behind him as his image became less clear and his body became more transparent. “I love you Benny. I love you so much. If this is the last time I see you I just want you to know that.” I said. Benny gave me a kiss on the lips. I couldn’t feel it, but I knew it was there. He could no longer speak at this stage, but I knew he meant the same for me.
“If you see her, tell her that I love her too and I miss her. I miss you both so much.” I said. He gave me one last smile before finally fading completely away. Again I was left alone in a room full of boxes and sad memories.
“Liz, are you okay?” Benny came up behind me, laying his hand on my shoulder. I already felt more comfortable just by having him there.
“Yeah it’s just..tough you know?” I said, wiping another tear that had escaped. Benny came around to face me. He smiled at me, just wide enough to make me smile back.
“Trust me, I know. I’ve been there.” He said. I laughed some before sitting on the hard wood floor. He joined me by sitting down in front of me.
“You know it’s gonna be okay right? It’s gonna get better.” He said. I looked down at my hands sighing.
“I don’t think it really does Benny.” I said.
Benny looked around the room before he spoke. “You know I don’t know much about this whole life and death thing. But you know what I do know? You are strong Elizabeth, and I know you will see Aubrey again. It might not be today, or tomorrow, but I promise you that you will see her again. I’m not gonna say she’s in a better place, because I don’t know exactly where a better place is. But she loved you so much.” He said. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. The tears came rolling now, my whole body shaking as I began to sob. Benny reached his hand out, almost touching mine.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. “Benny, I just don’t understand.” I spoke through my tears, my voice almost cracking. “My big sister is gone, what am I going to do without her?” I said breathing deep. “I have to lose her. Just like I had to lose you!!” I sobbed. Benny looked down now. “Yet here you are, but where is she Benny? Why can I only see you?!” I asked.
Benny was my best friend and more than that. He wasn’t just my boyfriend, he was my soulmate. Two years ago he passed away in the hurricane that hit our small town. Three days after it happened, long after I had heard the news I found him in my bedroom. He was there, alive and well and standing in my bedroom. I thought I was just seeing things, that it was some kind of joke. Turns out it was a joke, because Benny wasn’t really alive, only his soul was. He drifted in and out, showing up when he could. It was hard every time he came and we still couldn’t figure it out. Two years later and I still can’t believe he exists, when I didn’t even believe in ghosts in the first place.
Then there was Aubrey. My wonderful amazing older sister who had helped me get through everything. She got on the back of that damn motorcycle. With that stupid guy I told her was just a phase, a phase she needed to get rid of. I tried talking with her, tried telling her that he meant no good and that he was no good. But she didn’t believe me. She had rose colored glasses and all they could see was him. I remember a time when I was like that with Benny.
We got into a fight that night and she stormed out of the house. I remember telling her that I loved her, but I couldn’t stand seeing her with him anymore. I was going to cut her out of my life that night, and then I got the call. She passed away that next morning.
Benny drifted in and out and I wished so bad that he could’ve held me in his arms. Sometimes I swear I can feel him, but most times it just feels like cold wind brushing against your skin.
I waited and waited, thinking that maybe if I could see Benny that Aubrey would come too. But five days had passed and she still hadn’t shown up. I asked Benny, but he was as clueless as I was. Benny couldn’t really keep a memory; this afterlife wasn’t something you just figured out right away. It was something that we couldn’t understand or comprehend.
“Liz, I told you..this life..if you can call it that. You wouldn’t want to wish that on her. I promise you that.” He said. I looked up at him and wished so badly that I could kiss him, to comfort him.
“I’m so sorry Ben. I’m so glad that I can see you, but I just wish you could move on. I want you to be happy. I’m so sorry!” I started crying more. My whole life felt like one big mess. “Why can’t you go?” I asked. Benny stood up and I could see that his image was starting to become fuzzier. “I’m fading again.” He said simply. I stood up stepped closer to him. I could almost see behind him as his image became less clear and his body became more transparent. “I love you Benny. I love you so much. If this is the last time I see you I just want you to know that.” I said. Benny gave me a kiss on the lips. I couldn’t feel it, but I knew it was there. He could no longer speak at this stage, but I knew he meant the same for me.
“If you see her, tell her that I love her too and I miss her. I miss you both so much.” I said. He gave me one last smile before finally fading completely away. Again I was left alone in a room full of boxes and sad memories.
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