Fan Friday

Anxiety

My heart starts to pound and my hands begin to sweat. My breathing becomes erratic and my mind races on and on. Knots begin to form in my stomach and I can feel the acid rising in my throat. Why does this keep happening? Breathe I tell myself...breathe normal, breathe normal, breathe normal! I look at them and my vision blurs for a minute. Stop! I scream to myself in my head. She loves me she's with me she'd never do anything with Hannah.
But they're always together it's always Hannah and Olivia this and Hannah and Olivia that. The way i see them look at each other or whispered conversations they have. Plus she's known Olivia longer and Olivia is so pretty and sweet and why wouldn't she like Olivia more.
"Cass...Cass...Cassadee baby are you ok?" Suddenly my eyes focus on her face infront of mine. She reached up to touch my check and her eyes filled with worry. "Babe you're soaked, let's get you home, you don't look so good."

Even an hour later after a shower my mind still hadn't slowed down. My nerves pulsed in my body like thousands of tiny spiders crawling under my skin. A noise from the kitchen made me jump and as a grabbed the bat from the hall closet my heart stopped a second. I felt like one of the girls from those horror movies, and as I turned the corner and tightened my grip on the bat I half expected to see Freddy Kruger or Jason Voorhees fighting over something to slaughter me with. However the face that met mine in terror was a face I knew well.
"Holy shit Cassadee what are you doing with that thing." Hannah gasped. Lowering the bat I took a deep breathe, my first in what seemed like five minutes. My lungs shook as the oxygen filled and emptied them.
"Sorry honey I thought you went to bed already." Olivia rounded the corner and took my face between her hands before bringing her lips to mine and kissing me softly.
"Why don't you go find something on tv and I'll finish the kettle corn." I nodded and shakily slid my hand down her side hoping she wouldn't feel the shake. Luckily I made it to the couch and turned on the tv before she said another word. "Babe don't we still have a CSI to watch?" I like all the CSIs so the thought of that, instead of spending ten minutes trying to find something we agree on, is like heaven. Finally with kettle corn on my lap and my girl at my side I feel my body start to calm down. However it doesn't last long...they are chasing a serial killer who is breaking into houses in the middle of the night. Slowly I feel my eyes start to wonder from one window to the others and to the door. A commercial comes and I stand up in what I thought was a normal way until Hannah asks what's wrong. Walking towards the door I answer over my shoulder.
"It's getting late so I'm gonna lock the door."
"Umm ok well I'm going to the bathroom if it comes back on before I get back pause it for me please." I turned and nodded after flipping both locks on the door. As soon as Hannah disappeared behind the brown door in the hallway I ran to the windows and locked them. Surly we would hear someone smash through a window right. Maybe I'll take the bat to bed with me tonight and the phone just in case. Then as if right on que my hands started up again. I tried to rub them on my pants but my eyes caught sight of a shadow through the window and I felt beads of sweat form on my forehead. I do not want to die tonight or anywhere close to tonight. Oh my god what about Hannah! As visions of some man climbing through the open bathroom window and taking Hannah by surprise formed in my mind my heart rate spiked. That sudden spike was not a good feeling let me tell you that. Because the next thing I know I hear Hannah yell my name and my head hit the kitchen tile. A second later          (which according to Hannah was actually five minutes later) I woke up to Hannah on the phone frantically talking to what I could only assume was 911. After that night Hannah knew my secret. She was slightly pissed at me for not telling her about my anxiety but slowly she forgave me. As a sweet yet slightly annoying bonus, she never let me forget to take my pill again.

-Sadkatana