They all sit around me with beating hearts and random
breaths. They are all in their own world.
But here I sit hyperaware of everyone around me. I am unable to concentrate on anything else, but those beating hearts. My fingers shake and I grip the table to control them. My stomach churns with a deep hunger and my throat burns.
Sometimes I don’t understand why I do this to myself. I could have anyone of them, right here and now. My stomach would no longer ache and I would be satisfied.
“Hey buddy, are you okay?” A girl with short brown hair asks me. She’s wearing a name badge and her apron is green to match the coffee shop.
My stomach churns again and I can feel my teeth poking through my gums. I try to control it.
“Yes, I’m fine.” I say. She gives me a doubtful look.
“Uh I hate to do this, but you kinda have to order something if you sit here.” She says.
I look at the menu behind the counter. Coffee, Coffee, Coffee, Tea, Smoothie. None of those things are what I’m looking for. But of course they wouldn’t have what I want on the menu.
“Uh..I’ll take a cup of black tea please.” I say, smiling without showing my teeth. She smiles back at me, but she still looks concerned.
When she walks away I almost crumple to the ground. She was so close, and she smelled so good.
I take a useless breath of air to fill my dead lungs. The shaking in my hands seems to spread to rest of my body.
She comes back with my tea and sets it on the table. “Are you sure you’re okay?” She asks again. Her eyes are full of concern.
“NO! I’M NOT FUCKING OKAY! I WANT TO RIP YOUR THROAT OUT AND DRAIN YOU!!!!” I almost scream at her. But I keep my mouth shut. I can’t do this, I can’t keep this up.
“Actually no, would you mind meeting me outside? By the back door near the trash cans?” I look her in the eyes. I can feel her will power resisting me, but then without saying anything, she heads towards the back. I get up and follow her.
She stands near the trash cans, her eyes devoid of life. I hate seeing them like this, like zombies. I did this to her and soon I’ll do more. My fangs slide out from my gums when I come closer to her.
“I’m so sorry…God I’m so sorry. Please forgive me…please.” I say to her. My teeth are inches from her neck and I can hear her heart beating. Then I feel her arms encircle me, pulling me into a hug.
I jolt away from her neck and look into her eyes. They’re the same as they were before, dull and lifeless.
“Can…can you hear me?!” I ask her. Her arms drop back to her sides and I jump with surprise.
“This..can’t happen. This isn’t supposed to happen!!” I yell at her. She stares at me with the same expression. No one’s ever been able to break through the control, but somehow this girl did.
I kiss her forehead.
“I’m so sorry.” I say and run off down the street. Soon she’ll come back, and then she’ll remember me. Remember everything. My stomach aches and my fangs still remain in place, but I ignore them.
I’d rather die of hunger than have to hurt anyone again. After all, I used to be just like them.
But here I sit hyperaware of everyone around me. I am unable to concentrate on anything else, but those beating hearts. My fingers shake and I grip the table to control them. My stomach churns with a deep hunger and my throat burns.
Sometimes I don’t understand why I do this to myself. I could have anyone of them, right here and now. My stomach would no longer ache and I would be satisfied.
“Hey buddy, are you okay?” A girl with short brown hair asks me. She’s wearing a name badge and her apron is green to match the coffee shop.
My stomach churns again and I can feel my teeth poking through my gums. I try to control it.
“Yes, I’m fine.” I say. She gives me a doubtful look.
“Uh I hate to do this, but you kinda have to order something if you sit here.” She says.
I look at the menu behind the counter. Coffee, Coffee, Coffee, Tea, Smoothie. None of those things are what I’m looking for. But of course they wouldn’t have what I want on the menu.
“Uh..I’ll take a cup of black tea please.” I say, smiling without showing my teeth. She smiles back at me, but she still looks concerned.
When she walks away I almost crumple to the ground. She was so close, and she smelled so good.
I take a useless breath of air to fill my dead lungs. The shaking in my hands seems to spread to rest of my body.
She comes back with my tea and sets it on the table. “Are you sure you’re okay?” She asks again. Her eyes are full of concern.
“NO! I’M NOT FUCKING OKAY! I WANT TO RIP YOUR THROAT OUT AND DRAIN YOU!!!!” I almost scream at her. But I keep my mouth shut. I can’t do this, I can’t keep this up.
“Actually no, would you mind meeting me outside? By the back door near the trash cans?” I look her in the eyes. I can feel her will power resisting me, but then without saying anything, she heads towards the back. I get up and follow her.
She stands near the trash cans, her eyes devoid of life. I hate seeing them like this, like zombies. I did this to her and soon I’ll do more. My fangs slide out from my gums when I come closer to her.
“I’m so sorry…God I’m so sorry. Please forgive me…please.” I say to her. My teeth are inches from her neck and I can hear her heart beating. Then I feel her arms encircle me, pulling me into a hug.
I jolt away from her neck and look into her eyes. They’re the same as they were before, dull and lifeless.
“Can…can you hear me?!” I ask her. Her arms drop back to her sides and I jump with surprise.
“This..can’t happen. This isn’t supposed to happen!!” I yell at her. She stares at me with the same expression. No one’s ever been able to break through the control, but somehow this girl did.
I kiss her forehead.
“I’m so sorry.” I say and run off down the street. Soon she’ll come back, and then she’ll remember me. Remember everything. My stomach aches and my fangs still remain in place, but I ignore them.
I’d rather die of hunger than have to hurt anyone again. After all, I used to be just like them.
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